Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dear House Mouse,

So. You decided to stay. I don’t know if you know this but I saw you scurry from the back door, across the kitchen and underneath the dishwasher last Saturday. I let it go. Of course, I hid what little food I had.

I don’t know how you did it, but you survived for a week in our house. I saw you bolt from the kitchen across the living room and behind the television the other night. I didn’t scream that time, but I decided it was time to have a little talk. Obviously, you didn’t heed my advice because this morning, I saw you up in my bedroom.

Listen. I am a kind-to-creatures person and I would rather not take the measures that most people would. So this is what we’re going to do: Tonight, I am going to leave the back door open for 20 seconds. This is your chance to escape. I know it’s a scary world out there; there are dogs and cats, but I’ve seen you run, and you are way faster than they are. There are lots of fun places to go outside. There are trees and shrubs, and believe it or not, there’s more stuff to eat out there. We haven’t been shopping for weeks. You did look a little thin this morning, if I may say so. I know you’re struggling.

So I ask you, house mouse, to take this opportunity to dwell elsewhere. You have 24 hours. If you have already decided to decline my offer, I ask you this: Would you rather be poisoned or trapped?

6 comments:

Saule Cogneur said...

perhaps you should offer him some incentive. Maybe some peanut butter or cheese just outside the doorway.

I advise against poison. He may die in an unaccessible place in your house.

ThomCarter said...

I vote for poison.

Then you should take pictures and post them outside your door so the other mice can know the consequences of not negotiating with management!

Ilene said...

um, how are you so calm about this mouse thing? I would be freaking out and would have had the exterminator person out setting traps a.s.a.p.

Humane treatment, be damned.

Or be nice to a cat, and let a cat come and hunt it down. Perhaps that isn't so cruel as a trap.

Last weekend we were watching The Planet Earth and Jackson was up with us. Anyway, we watched the scene of the lions hunting an elephant and some foxes hunting these bunny like creatures. It was weird to have to stop and explain to Jackson that some animals kill other animals to eat. I think I said something happy like "Heavenly Father makes lots of pinchas (or whatever they are called) so that some can feed the foxes and others can make more pinchas. He seemed pretty happy with that explanation.

We'll Call her "Lisa" said...

Have you heard of this: http://doitbest.com/main.aspx?pageid=64&sku=719858&memberid=0129&associate=true
You don't have to see it or touch it. It just gets caught in the little can. You could shake it around...to figure out that it is in fact in there... but it's really a nice product.

Natalie said...

So you're not a screamer, eh? I'm impressed. Your negotiating skills are top-notch. I'm sure the little guy decided to see things your way. You just can't argue with reason.

Hilda said...

wow, you've got quite the negotiating skills. I had a similar problem with spiders, but I never negotiated. Maybe that's why they kept coming just to me, not any of my roomates.