Depleting Batteries

A long time ago, back when I was applying for jobs, I remember interviewers asking, “What would you say your weaknesses are?”

I don’t remember exactly what I told them. Recently I read a friend’s blog where he proclaimed to have no weaknesses.

I’m not sure I would call this a weakness, but I would say one of the most annoying things about me is that I am always misplacing my cell phone. If it is not in my hand or sitting directly in front of my keyboard, I have no idea where it is. This is why when I answer your calls, I either answer it within one ring, eight rings or I miss it altogether.

About twice a week I have to yell out “Will someone call my phone?” And twice in the past month, someone I've never seen before has walked up to me in a public place and handed me my little red Samsung saying, “Is this yours?” I mean, STRANGERS are keeping a better eye on my phone than I am!

I would like to blame this on my mother. I got some great genes from her (one of her friends just wrote on my Facebook wall telling me I have her wit), but along with those qualities comes a tendency to hide things from ourselves.

Example A: When I was in high school, the portable phone went missing. We “called” it from all over the place but it wasn’t long until we figured the battery had depleted, so we gave up and just started using other phones around the house. Two weeks later I went to retrieve something from my mom’s car trunk and found the phone buried in there.

Example B: A few months ago I was at my parents’ house and found the portable phone sitting in a cactus in the dining room.

Mom’s (absent) mind has a better sense of humor than mine. While her phone is found in crazy, comical places, I usually find my mine in boring places like underneath a pillow, in my car, or in my pocket.

Example A: Last Friday I left my sister in law’s house and got on the 10600 South freeway entrance. After about five seconds (typical) I go into “where’s my phone?” mode and start looking in the normal places: Pockets? No. Little slot in car door? No. Passenger seat? No. Purse? Maybe. Searching a purse and driving aren’t two things you should do at once. I look around in there a little bit and can’t find it. “Crap.” I think, “I must have left it at Kelly’s.” So I get off the 90000 South exit, drive BACK to Kelly’s, get out, go up to the door and ask if my phone is there. We look for it, can’t find it. I ask Kelly to call it. She does. It's in my purse.

Example B: I’m trying to leave the house, and I have to do my routine phone check. I check my back pockets, my front pockets, it’s not there. “Annie! Will you call my phone?” She does…and it’s in my coat pocket – that I’m wearing.

One time, I couldn’t find my phone and no one was home to call it for me so I logged on to my computer, instant messaged my brother and had him call me. What if no one was online? I can’t be this dependent on people all the time (it was under my driver’s seat by the way) and that’s when I decided T-Mobile should have a feature on their website where I could log in and click on a button that says “Call my phone!”

I would LOVE it.

This baffles me, because while I have a near impeccable memory, I can't seem to recall where I set my phone down. Clearly, my problem is I just don’t look hard enough for things. I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to get better. Still, my absent mind is what prevents me from handing over $200 for an iPhone. I just want my phone to be a phone – make calls, send text messages. While combining your camera, calendar, phonebook, iPod and computer into one portable (and misplaceable) device may seem economical to many, it’s just setting me up for devastation.

The house smells funny

Most of you know my parents are in London until the end of June. My dad is the director of BYU's London Study Abroad for the next two terms.

Taking care of things before they left was a big ordeal. Getting a house sitter was something they thought about for the past year, but ultimately they decided it would be strange having someone live there with all their stuff. So instead, their three children are taking turns with the house. My dad asked that we don't bother him with mundane things such as "the house smells funny" but asks that we do tell him if it burned down.

Taking care of things now that they have left is a bit of an ordeal as well. There are various instructions we have. Some more detailed than others (like watering the plants, geez. 1 cup here, 3/4 cup there, one pineapple pitcher full -- still not sure what the pineapple pitcher is). We are supposed to sort the mail into three piles: junk mail, Durham mail and Utah Chamber Artists mail. We were asked to flush the toilets every now and then and take the cars for a spin. And I am teaching 3 of Mom's piano students in her place.

My brother, sister and I have been communicating via phone and email about when we have or plan on stopping by, but mostly we've been leaving notes on the fridge about which tasks were taken care of and when. A couple weeks ago my sister told me the house smells funny. "You know how our bedrooms smell now because no one has been living in them?" she said, "I think that's it. No one's there, no one's cooking anything."

The other day I got a message from my brother saying when he stopped by the house my parents bathroom light was on and the fan was on. He said he hoped it was me or Lisa. It was neither of us. We thought that was pretty strange. And then yesterday I went to the house to teach my mom's piano students and someone was already there. It was my mom's friend Barb who was asked to pick up UCA mail. She was there with her two boys. And she mentioned how she'll come to hang out and her boys just wander around the house and last time she found her oldest upstairs in my parents bathroom at which point, Lisa and I looked at each other, engaging in a quick telepathic pow wow. That explains more than one thing.

Although, what it doesn't explain is what I found in the microwave. I opened it to heat up a piece of quiche and found this:


It took me several seconds (and Lisa's memory) to figure out what it was. Ever wonder what carrots and parsnips look like after sitting out for four weeks? Now you don't have to. Lisa says she remembers Mom putting that in the microwave the night before they left when we were all over for dinner. I guess she forgot to take it out. Gross. I took care of it. I'm hoping that's what the smell was. But I doubt it.

Some of you may have already seen the blog I started for my mom and dad while they're away. It's linked under "family" in the sidebar. It's purpose is to keep family and friends updated on what they're up to since they ask us a lot. Mom and Dad don't blog, so Lisa and I take care of the posting for them. In fact, I hadn't heard from them for awhile so I considered putting this post on their blog, but then decided I should keep it about them and England and not about us, without them, in Salt Lake.

So Mom, Dad...if you're reading this, everything is OK on the homefront. The house is intact (albeit smelly) and despite the light being left on that one time, the rancid food in the microwave, and the power tools left all over the house by that guy who's working on the yard, things are under control, and we're there frequently.

Tours

I have this friend who served an LDS mission here in Salt Lake. On his mission he was introduced to many attractions and collected some obscure stories about some pretty cool (and strange) places. As a result, he developed a rather bizarre tour of the city.

I was first introduced to his tour about a year and a half ago. He set me up on a date and we doubled with him and some other girl because his actual girlfriend was busy (but that’s another story). I loved it. Being from Salt Lake, I’m used to the typical things that make Salt Lake – well, Salt Lake.

What’s great about this tour is that you can do it within 2 or 3 hours. There are some long stops, and some short stops to give it variety. And of course each stop has a mission-related story. I was familiar with most of these places, but here is what was on the 2007 tour:

Gilgal Gardens
Hobbitville (it’s always just a driveby)
Cathedral of the Madeleine (it was closed)
The Virgin Mary Tree
The Garden Park Ward
Summum Pyramid (by Welfare Square)

Last night I did the tour again with my friend Dre and her friend from out of town. Last night was a little different. We made it to the following:

Gilgal Gardens
Cathedral of the Madeleine
The Virgin Mary Tree
The Summum Pyramid
The Mormon Ovens

OK…we didn’t actually make it to the Mormon ovens. And I’m still unclear as to what those really are. He took us up through Federal Heights and then we started walking in the snow. After twenty minutes of hiking I asked if we were there yet and he said we were maybe half way there. The guide’s girlfriend and I decided it was too cold, my wet feet were starting to freeze, and so we turned back. After about 25 minutes of chatting in the car we get a call from him saying, “Hey where you guys at? We need you to come pick us up at the hospital.” Apparently they took a wrong turn and walked over the mountain and out the other side and ended up at Primary Children’s Hospital. So we picked them up and called it a night. Fun…nonetheless. Always a good time.


This got me to thinking about if I had visitors from out of town and were unfamiliar with Salt Lake, what kind of tour would I take them on? First, I would try to get my friend to take them on his tour, because there’s nothing better, but if I were left on my own, I think I would take them to some places I really like and know a little bit about:

The State Capitol Building is one of my favorite buildings in Salt Lake. And I was actually a tour guide there so I know a lot about it. And it’s right by my house so this would be the first stop.






Next stop: the Cathedral of the Madeleine. It’s a beautiful building and a nice complement to the Mormon Temple, so people know other religions thrive here too.





Gotta hit Gilgal Gardens. I mean, a man who built a strange, sculpture garden in his back yard with Mormon-related symbology? A sphinx with Joseph Smith’s head? Awesome. I remember my mom took me there when I was really little. Years later I asked her where that man’s house was with the statues, and then my ward ended up going there one night for an activity.

Then we’d go up to Red Butte Gardens. It's pretty all year long. There are a lot of little gardens and the view is amazing. If I planned it right, we’d get there around sunset where you can see the whole valley.

Then we’d drive down to Temple Square where I’d take them to the tabernacle – if it’s a Thursday night, we’d be able to pop in on the choir rehearsing, which might be exciting for them. If they still let people do that…

And then maybe I’d take them to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building to look around and then take the elevators to the top where you get an awesome view of Temple Square.

We’d also eat somewhere during the tour -- depending. You have to be flexible. Possibilities include Cucina in the Aves or even the Garden at the Joseph Smith Memorial.

Probably not nearly as entertaining as my friend's tour, but it would be informational. If I had another day, I would probably take people to the Spiral Jetty or Antelope Island because, you know the Great Salt Lake and everything. And it’s amazing out there – almost surreal.

Personal Belongings

There’s a lot of talk around here about budget cuts and potential layoffs. No one feels safe. In fact, we were called into a budget meeting several weeks ago and before the meeting, one of my coworkers told me how he put all his belongings in a cardboard box and asked me if I’d send it to him if something happened.

Several months ago I decided it was time to start backing up all my personal files I keep here at work. I didn’t own a computer for a very long time, so all my personal digital photos and documents I kept on my office computer. I finally moved all my photos off my hard drive and onto disks just in case I was called into a meeting and asked to not go back to my office.

After the holidays, I tend to clean things out and start anew. These days, with imminent layoffs and an inclement budget forecast for FY10, gathering important personal items is wise. Because I feel like I’m constantly getting rid of things, I never considered myself a pack rat, but apparently (photos to follow) I keep a lot of things for whatever reason.

I started this job in 2001. The girl before me left a lot of stuff in my desk. I got rid of a lot of it but kept some of it. Like these pastels. These may have been here for years before her time too judging from the design and look of the box. I guess I thought someday I would get artsy and draw a picture with them. Hasn’t happened.

Back in 2003 I took a nonfiction writing course up at the University. I submitted a series of emails I sent to my friend Ilene. Ilene and I had this thing where we would watch 7^th Heaven just so we could write to each other and bash on it. After the course I got this email from the instructor who encouraged me to publish them. Never did. But I like to keep this around as a reminder that a professional writer thought I was publishable.

This here is a phone holder. My mom (or Santa Claus, can’t remember which) gave this to me. I’ve had this ever since I’ve had my first phone. Back then phones were big enough to fit snugly in there. No longer.

Oh right, along with the pastels, I decided to keep these little circle stickers. We use them to indicate a piece out in the gallery is sold…so not very often. Martha Stewart showed me how to make decorative streamers with them. So a few Christmases ago I made a bunch of these and hung them from the windows in my office. Except this year. I forgot.

I never really found a good place for this little stained glass window my mom brought back for me from someplace. I think it’s supposed to be the rose window at Notre Dame. It looks good placed up against a blank word doc on my computer screen though doesn’t it?

The dolphin stamp. My coworker left this on my desk once, or maybe he even handed it to me as a “gift.” The cool thing about this stamp is that it lights up when you press down on it. I keep it around because my friend’s son likes to play with it when they come to visit.

I forgot I put all this salt and pepper in a plastic baggie. I don’t remember where I found it but apparently I felt strongly that they be kept around. I think I kept it around for my edamame I used to snack on in the afternoon.

It’s amazing how much personal stuff one accumulates at their office. I’ve heard horror stories of people getting laid off and then not being allowed to come back and save files on their computers or emails or pictures. I have a bunch of CDs here, books, toys – for the kids that come to visit. Maybe it’s time I transfer the important things to a more secure environment.

Looking Back..and Ahead

As my friend Carri and I drove home from a ski trip last week, we discussed “New Years” resolutions and goals. We asked each other about the goals we set last year. I didn’t formally set any, but I’m always trying to better myself.

As I look back on this past year and the things I remember consciously telling myself “this is important to do” I can, in retrospect, see a cohesiveness and common purpose. And as I examine what I was trying to do, it has become clear that I was trying to heal my soul.

I think our confidence and spirit can be damaged in many ways by things that happen to us, people that hurt us, and mostly things we do to hurt ourselves. I decided I didn’t want to do anything to hurt myself; I didn’t want to deprive myself of opportunities for whatever reason, and I was going to embrace what I love without limiting myself or shrinking for fear of comments from critics (and my own demons). I was going to stop inventing obstacles or reasons why I shouldn’t have what I want.

In retrospect, I can see why certain things were important to me in 2008. I'll share some:

1) I began the year volunteering at the Capitol building as a docent. I adore that building. It was always something I looked to on the hill when I was young. It was almost a beacon, straight ahead; a focal point of beauty, truth and order. Being able to go inside seemed like a special privilege. Now I live a block and a half away from that building, and once it was restored and open to the public, I knew I wanted to be part of it’s history so I spent two weeks telling people about the architecture, the artwork and the function of the building. I loved it.

2) At the beginning of the year I decided I was going to take every opportunity I could get to travel in 2008. I have expressed before how important travel is to me. I need it to reboot my mind, to discover new things and indulge my curiosity. I went to D.C. with my dad and we packed our days with tours, lectures, performances, and what I maintain to be the best meal I can remember. I traveled to Wales, England and France with the Utah Chamber Artists. The best part about that trip was having my mother, brother, aunt, uncle and a couple cousins with me. Spending time away with them was a treat that doesn’t come around often enough. Going to Aruba with friends was the most relaxing and carefree trip of the year. No schedule, no expectations, just going with the flow – which is good for a planner like me. I visited my best friend in Idaho in November and there’s nothing like just sitting next to your best friend that reminds you who you are, what you love about yourself and what you want for yourself. New York City was just fun. I probably spent more money there without thinking about it, and if you decide beforehand that spending too much money is what you’re going to do, it is liberating.

3) In the fall, I joined the Utah Chamber Artists. Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but always pushed aside. It has enriched my life in so many ways. Rehearsals are time consuming, but I love them. Performing again has been exciting. Sharing a common talent with 40 people that are so different from one another is a fun and unique experience. And being able to sing and spend time with my mother and my brother has made it even more rewarding.

4) Something that I never thought I would do was actually stick to a regular exercise regimen. I’m using “regular” and “exercise” so loosely, it’s ridiculous. But I instigated a weekly yoga class at work. I don’t do the gym, so I thought if I hired someone to come to ME and my coworkers, we would be more likely to accomplish our goal. So every Tuesday, we have a yoga instructor come to our building and about 6 or 7 of us spend an hour with him. It has taught me patience, calm, focus, and in many cases how to relax. I’m sure I’ll learn much more as we progress and our workouts get more challenging.

Healing your soul is a lifelong pursuit because life’s knocks will always come around. I plan to keep looking for ways to reintroduce myself to what I love and what I need.

I’ve been preparing for the next art exhibit here at my gallery. We are doing a commemorative show on an artist who passed away right before Thanksgiving. I am sorting through all his notebooks and am realizing that he collected a lot of affirmations and other encouraging quotes and articles to help him achieve his goals. I decided to use them in the exhibit. A couple really stood out to me and that is a definition of the word “elegance” that I never thought of before:

“Elegance is the use of the least amount of energy to accomplish what you are after. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. That’s elegance.”

"To know what you want, to know why you want it, to have impeccability and a vision, and to step into it -- that is elegance."

Elegance is going to be one of my goals for 2009. I know it takes a lot of work to achieve what we want, but I believe we have a tendency to make things more difficult than they need to be. If we have clarity, vision and purpose and apply that to our decisions and behavior, we can accomplish what we are after with ease – and elegance.

1996-2008

Dear Scooter Badooder,

I'm sorry I didn't really get to say goodbye, but I kind of knew I wouldn't see you again, which is why, on Christmas Eve, I let you sleep in the middle of my bed while I balanced on the edge all night trying not to fall off.

You've been a good kitty these past 13 years. I only lived with you for about 5 of those, and I know we gave you to Mom for Mother's Day, but I'll still think of you as my kitty too. I know I didn't appreciate it at the time, but it was sweet of you to kill all those mice for us and good job dissecting those birds. And then there was that one spring where you managed to bring a praying mantis home every night around 10:30 -- that was fun.

I can tell you've been lonely these past few years without Buddha. Even though he would sort all the "inedible" kibble from his bits and eventually eat all your food, you two got along really well, and now you can say hi to him for me. Buddha will probably introduce you to our two previous cats: Oliver and Kitty. Kitty's real name is Charcoal Tubby Durham but believe me, he'll only answer to "Kitty". Be nice to each other up there. You were all equally important to us. Kitty will probably brag about how he owned the neighborhood, and even all of us -- as we were scared of him a lot of the time, but you can one up him and say how you got us to maintain 4 different kinds of food in 4 different food bowls for you. You can also make fun of him for climbing up on the roof and not knowing how to get down. Oliver wasn't with us for very long, so he may not have a whole lot to say. Don't gang up on Oliver, he's a sweetheart.

Tell the story about when you went missing for two weeks. That's a good one. We assumed you were a rug out on 1300 East, but one night, you just showed up, wondering where your food was, like you just hopped out of a DeLorean* and no time had passed at all. I wish I knew where you were and what you did. Maybe you can tell me someday.

You're a sweet kitty. You were demanding, wanting only running water to drink; needing to sleep on my chest with your face right in front of mine, but I love you anyway.

You always wanted me to be awake when you were awake, even if it was 2 AM.
But I love you anyway.

You chewed up hundreds of dollars worth of clothes, rugs and blankets.
But I love you anyway.

When Oliver died, Dad read to us from Moses 3:5..."For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth..."

I'm not sure if Mom and Dad, or even I will live with another kitty, but we will always remember you and we will miss you.


*kinda borrowed this line from Cameron

Cold Remedies

I am not happy with my immune system these days. This is the second cold I've had in the past two months. I used to NEVER get colds. I think I went three straight years without getting a cold. I was getting more sleep back then though.

Fortunately, this cold is not nearly as bad as the last one. I thought the last one was going to kill me. I had it mid November. That cold was strange, because it hit me every other day. It's like I had a day off from my cold and then the next day it came back with a vengeance.

Because I'm fairly new to the cold, I am completely ghetto when it comes to meds. My two old roommates introduced me to Airbourne and Cold Eeze lozenges. I've had the NyQuil conversation with many people. Most people love it...I hate it. I have this memory of me sitting at my bed when I was about 14 years old, holding a little 1 oz plastic cup with bright green syrup in it trying not to gag at the sight of it. I stared at it for a good ten minutes before I finally took the shot. I hate that feeling of alcohol going down my throat and then having it linger there. I swore I would never drink the devil's poison again.

And then last November, I drank some. My cold was bad. My head felt like it was going to fall off my body and I needed to get through a day of work. I'm a grown up now, it was time to grow up and drink the nasty stuff. It wasn't as awful as I feared but it wasn't good. And I tasted that stuff for the next two days. I've sworn it off again.

Anyway, again, last November I called my sister who seems to be sick all the time now that she has a kid, and told her I had a cold. She said to take Zycam. But apparently it was too late for Zycam. I was past the sore throat stage. Now it was time for Mucinex. I popped one of those right before going out to dinner with friends. I felt great. But the next day I started to act loopy and was told I wasn't answering questions.

Now, about six weeks later, I am currently on Zycam and Mucinex. Only this time I am drinking ALL THE TIME because I figured out the last time I took Mucinex I didn't eat or drink anything that day and so I was SEVERELY dehydrated. I'm feeling a little better, but still kinda dizzy.

Because I'm not used to being sick, I'm not used to all the remedies people have for the common cold, but I'm open to try them. The last time I was sick, Annie gave me some tea that was supposed to soothe my throat. Eh. She also gave me this eucalyptus ball that you're supposed to throw in a pot of boiling water and then hover over it with a towel over your head. I tried it. It did clear up my sinuses for a little while. Some girl in my choir told me to gargle with Listerine. She said the alcohol kills the germs in your throat and that's where the cold starts.

Everyone seems to have different ones. We just had people over for ward prayer. My plan was to stay upstairs and out of the way, but I ended up staying downstairs and talking to people. Here is what I got tonight:

Gargle with salt water (tried that when I was little, made me gag)
Drink the caramel apple cider at Starbucks.
Airbourne.

Here's my thing with airbourne and zycam and cold eeze and anything else that is supposed to "shorten" your cold. I use this stuff, but I'm not sure if there's any way of knowing if it works or not. You're only supposed to take a certain amount of airbourne within 24 hours or else it will damage your liver. I will watch the clock, counting down the minutes until I can take the next one. I can take zycam every four hours. I've been taking airbourne AND zycam for the past 24 hours and I'm feeling ok. My throat is still a little raw. I think what's mostly making me feel crummy right now is the effects of Mucinex. Maybe I just have a less severe cold, or maybe if I haven't been taking these remedies, it would be way more intense, I don't know. Here is what I do know: NyQuil makes me gag and say things I wouldn't normally say. Mucinex makes me dizzy, nauseous, and incoherent.

Oh look, it's 10 PM and it's time for another Zycam.

NYC 2008

Special thanks to the following:

Jane and Maria for free lodging and playing with me.
SLCVB for the free Nutcracker tickets.
Annie's client Mary for lunch in Chinatown.
Clay for house tickets at his play.
Our bishop for sponsoring dessert at Carnegie Deli
Annie for inviting me in the first place.

No thanks to the following:

The lady on my flight over who claimed the empty seat between us as her own.
The downpour after the Nutcracker for soaking my shoes
The lady on 96th street for looking me up and down in disapproval. Yes, I know, my red coat did not match my purple skirt. I pack light.

Santas and Snowmen

Last month my mom told me she’s ready to go back to her Scandinavian Christmas tree. When I was much younger she had a Scandinavian themed tree but about ten years ago she went to a different kind of theme with “bubble gum” lights and lots of shiny ornaments.

We sat down at her computer so she could show me pictures of all the Christmas ornaments she plans on making for her tree. I made about 6 or 7 of these Santa tomtes with my mom for my tree this year – which is Scandinavian actually, but mostly because I bought my ornaments at IKEA last year. But I love my homemade tomtes.

Anyway, as we clicked through dozens of websites with crafts, fabrics and other ornaments Mom started talking about her mother and the things Grandma would make when she was little. Mom said a lot of the stuff we were looking at was just like it. I don’t think my mom noticed, but I had to wipe away a few tears as a wave of nostalgia came over me and I suddenly missed my Grandma Christensen.

Grandma died nine years ago of ovarian cancer. She was fairly young. I miss her all the time.

I think about my Grandma a lot, especially at Christmastime, since every Christmas Eve was spent at her house. We always had a Christmas program and every year it was a tradition to beg Grandma to sing “Baby it’s Cold Outside” with my Grandpa. She had to tear herself away from whatever was keeping her busy in the kitchen, but she always gave in (that's my mom playing the piano and her bridal picture on the piano).

I had the honor of speaking at Grandma's funeral, and this is one of the memories I shared:

One thing about Grandma was that everything in her house had its place and she knew where everything was at all times. When I was very little, my brother and sister and I were staying at Grandma and Grandpa’s house while our parents were on vacation. Grandma took me into Uncle Tony’s old room to show me a flashlight that she thought I might like to see. She took me to the desk, pulled open the drawer and pulled out the flashlight. Because it was made with clear plastic, I could see the batteries inside. The batteries were blue with pictures of snowmen printed on them. I loved the flashlight and immediately imagined how fun it would be to play with it in the dark when everyone else was asleep. So later that day when she was in the kitchen I took it out of its drawer, brought it into the TV room where I’d be sleeping later and hid it in my sleeping bag.

That night, Grandma came to tuck us in. She felt something at the bottom of my sleeping bag and asked me what it was. I told her I didn’t know and she said goodnight and went to bed. Unfortunately, I ended up sleeping straight through the night so my plans of playing with the snowman flashlight in the dark never happened. When I woke up, I remembered I had the flashlight in there and thought I better replace it before Grandma was up. I felt for it at the bottom of my sleeping bag. It was gone! I panicked as I got up and turned my sleeping bag upside down; shaking it in hopes the flashlight would fall out. It wasn’t there. I froze for a few moments for fear of what likely happened. I tiptoed past Grandma and Grandpa’s bedroom and into the room with the desk where she kept it and opened the drawer to find the flashlight back in its proper place exactly where she left it before. I learned at an early age there was no fooling Grandma.


Sometimes I feel bad for my younger cousins because they didn’t get to experience Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa’s house like I did. But then again, I’m sure their Christmases are just as special to them as mine were to me. I just hope my kids get to spend many, many Christmases with their grandparents.

Last night when I climbed into bed I closed my eyes and tried to remember what Grandma's hugs felt like. And I realized they kind of felt like my mom's hugs. And that made me happy.

Skimpy

I was buying evaporated milk a couple weeks ago for a fudge recipe. Sometimes when I make grocery lists, I put down the box or can size I need so I can be sure I get the right amount for the recipe. Evaporated milk is pretty standard: they have small cans and large cans. I found my Carnation evaporated milk and started to put it in my cart when I noticed it was a 12 oz can. I looked at my list and I noted a 14 oz can. I looked on the shelf to see if other brands offered 14 oz cans, but unfortunately, there weren’t any other brands. I asked a guy shelving the cake mixes, “Does evaporated milk come in 14 oz cans?” He clearly didn’t know, because he came over, looked at my can, looked at the cans on the shelf, and then said “Guess not.” Thanks. I guess I didn’t really expect there to be 14 oz cans, I was just kind of verbalizing what seems to be happening with a lot of products: downsizing.

It seems to be the manufacturer’s way of increasing prices without increasing prices. It’s sneaky, but it’s kind of genius. They actually had a segment about this on the Today Show this morning. I think companies know that increasing prices will have a more negative impact on their sales. I’m not THAT picky about my brands, so if Kellogg’s Raisin Bran is even 30 cents less than Post, I’ll go for the Kellogg’s.

Fortunately, I’m a savvy shopper. I don’t know how or when I started looking closely at prices per ounce, but it has changed the way I shop for groceries. I make sure I’m getting the most for my money. And now is definitely the time to do that, as you’ll see Skippy skimping on their ounces, even though the jar will look like the same size. If you turn the jar upside down, you’ll see the bottom is more concave than it used to be. You’ll notice tuna cans are a little shorter, and cereal boxes are a little thinner, or the bags inside are a little smaller – sneaky. Even though your eyes can deceive you, prices per ounce can’t (without a law suit).

Honestly, if their production costs are up, and the natural solution is to make the consumer pay more, in most cases, I would prefer they give me less product than increase the price. I went ahead with my fudge recipe using 12 oz of the evaporated milk. I may have put in a bit less chocolate and sugar and butter to even everything out. The recipe didn’t suffer for it. I don’t really care or notice if I have fewer potato chips or Golden Grahams. I don’t care if my Kleenex sheets are one inch shorter; I probably didn’t need the whole surface area of the Kleenex anyway – as long as I’m getting the same amount of sheets. The downsizing is working on me. I’m still buying their products because they’re the same price (or in some cases, less).

I was a little put off last week when I went to Big City Soup and saw prices underneath the pieces of bread they used to give you for free. You would get bread, 1 oz of Tillamook cheese and some mints. Now if I wanted bread it was going to cost me $1.39. I looked at how much my soup cost and saw that the price went down. Ahh...but the price didn't really go down did it. The cashier asked me if I wanted bread. “Does it come with the soup?” Again, stupid question, because I already knew the answer, I was just making the point that I was hip to their little a la carte scheme. I decided I didn’t want bread. I never eat all of it anyway. I’m really just there for the soup (although I really like that cheese). With tax, my soup cost me $5 even. Nice. So with the bread and cheese, it would have cost me a little over $7. That’s only 75 cents more than I paid in the past when all 3 items came together as a meal deal – interesting that I opted for the lower price for less food.

Come to think of it, I would kind of prefer that restaurants give me smaller portions than increase prices on their dishes. I don’t need that much food – especially at Mexican restaurants. I can name about a dozen guys I’ve been to lunch with that would wholeheartedly disagree with my price/portion philosophy but I am littler than they are. As is my metabolism. If I'm disciplined enough to not overeat, I usually end up taking it home for lunch the next day, but some food doesn’t refrigerate well, and sometimes I didn’t like it and don’t want to eat it again.

I guess the point is restaurants and food companies are being sneaky to get the most out of the consumer. One of my favorite movie scenes ever is in Father of the Bride. Remember when Steve Martin just hits the fan after he starts to come to terms with how much his daughter’s wedding is going to cost? He goes to the grocery store for hot dogs and hot dog buns and starts removing buns from half his bags because he’s angry that hot dogs come in packages of 10 and buns come in packages of 8, so the victimized consumer has to buy two packages of buns in order to have enough for the 10 hot dogs but is left with “superfluous” buns.

I feel like I waste a lot of food like that, especially being single and cooking for myself. I can’t eat a whole loaf of bread by myself (they sold half loafs for awhile, but the price wasn’t worth it). Produce is the worst. Rarely do I eat a whole head of lettuce or all that celery by myself. It’s hard and I end up with wasted food. My sour cream goes bad, my can of refried beans goes bad, my pasta sauce goes bad. I’m not saying I like getting less for my money, but if manufacturers are struggling in this economy, I’d rather pay the same price for fewer ounces than pay more and end up wasting food I couldn’t eat by myself.

Rooty-toot-toots and Rummy-tum-tums

If you haven’t spoken with me or you haven’t noticed the ad on the sidebar of my blog, I have a Christmas concert coming up next week with the Utah Chamber Artists. The concert is on Monday and Tuesday.

Tickets are $10 for students and $15 for non-degree seeking adults. However, because the executive director is a close, personal mother of mine and I do free design work for them, I was given a limited number of $5 tickets for friends/family who would like to come.

This year’s Christmas concert is at the First Presbyterian Church on South Temple. It’s going to be awesome. I only have ten $5 tickets though. I’m actually not sure if more than ten people (in town) read my blog and are interested in a ticket, but this is what I came up with as far as divvying them out:

Below is a Christmas carol quiz*. Here are the rules:

1. Pick one question that hasn’t already been answered by a previous commenter and if you get it right, and you want to come to the concert, you can have a $5 ticket.
2. Tell me which night you prefer, Monday or Tuesday (both concerts are at 7:30 PM.

Here are the limitations:

1. Only one ticket per commenter. If you want to bring a date, you can purchase more tickets at utahchamberartists.org or from me.
2. You have to pay me by Sunday, December 7th
3. If something comes up and you can't make it, please try to find someone to use it, or try to give me 48 hours notice and I'll find someone who will use it. There’s a reason we do the Christmas concert two nights instead of one.

If there are more than ten comments on here and you still want to come to the concert, I hope you will anyway, even if you have to pay full price. You won’t be sorry. I know several of my blog readers came to the last concert in October and loved it.


1. "The Christmas Song" refers to "folks dressed up like---

Elves
Angels
Eskimos
Chewbacca


2. What were the last words of Frosty the Snowman?

"Hold my beer and watch this."
"Catch me if you can!"
"Ahh, I can't wait to get in that hot shower."
"I'll be back again someday."


3. In "Joy to the World," Jesus is said to rule the world with ---

Truth and grace
Love and hope
Mercy and care
Clout and cash


4. In "The Little Drummer Boy," how does Baby Jesus react to the stylings of the impoverished percussionist?

He smiles
He nods and keeps time with the ox and lamb
He sleeps in heavenly peace
He weeps inconsolably because, like almost everybody else, he too hates "The Little Drummer Boy."


5. When the angels proclaim the birth of Jesus to the shepherds in "Angels We Have Heard on High," they sing, "Gloria, in excelsis Deo." This is Latin for:

Fa la la
Such a glorious day!
Gloria is with Mary in the stable
Glory to God in the highest


6. "Hannuka, Oh Hannuka" tells us to come light---

The Yule log
The menorah
The dreidl
The latkes


7. In "Carol of the Bells," what is it that the "sweet silver bells" seem to be saying?

Merry Christmas
Christ is born of Mary
Throw cares away
Let's eat!


8. "Up on the Housetop" contains a reference to Santa bringing several toys that would not pass muster with child-safety watchdog groups. Which of the following gifts is NOT mentioned in the song?

A whip
A hammer
Tacks
An asbestos teddy bear

9. In "Jingle Bells," the singer says that one day he went out on the snow and fell on his back. A gentleman then came by in a one-horse open sleigh. What does he do?

He sings a song
He lifts the fallen man and carries him inside
He alights from his sleigh and falls down himself
He laughs and rides away

10. In "Winter Wonderland," the singers build a snowman, and pretend that he is Parson Brown. What is their answer when this fictional clergyman asks if they are married?

Oh, yes
No, man!
Get lost!
As if!


*Quiz taken from the Chicago Tribune.

Oh, and if anyone can enlighten me as to what a "rummy-tum-tum" is I will personally buy your ticket.

Perfect Light

Looks like I'm speaking in sacrament meeting on Sunday. I started to look through some old talks of mine today to see what I've talked about in the past. I talk about light and faith a lot. I came across this one I gave six years ago. I really like it and I think it's appropriate for the season. And since I have nothing else to write about, I would like to say amen again to this.

September 15, 2002
Hidden Valley 5th Ward

When Edward L. Hart wrote "Our Savior's Love,” it was culminated as a reverent prayer to the Father. The hymn has three verses: the first speaks of the Son, the second speaks of the Holy Ghost and the third speaks of the Father. Analyzing a hymn is like analyzing a poem. Poets use words in their utmost meaning. Each word bears tremendous significance because in poetry each word must be chosen carefully making the meaning all the more eloquent and powerful. Another beautiful thing about poetry is what may mean one thing to one person, might mean something completely different to another. For me, the overlying theme in "Our Savior's Love" is about contrast, and how once we see how our life can be with the Savior up against our life without Him, the better choice is clear.

The hymn also illustrates the well-known simile comparing our Savior to light. The scriptures are full of verses and phrases that pair Christ with light: Jesus is the “light” of the world; knowledge is often referred to as the “Light” of Christ. In Doctrine and Covenants section 14 Jesus Christ describes himself as a light, which cannot be hid in darkness. The prophet Isaiah said:

"The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory."

As I was preparing this talk, the scriptures I read and the things I pondered reminded me of a paper I wrote in college. The paper was about a small painting by a Northern Renaissance artist named Geertgen tot Sint Jans. I'm showing you two pictures here for the purpose of comparison and contarst: The first is by Robert Campin and the second is by Geertgen tot Sint Jans.

The Nativity is a common theme depicted by artists and was especially popular during the Renaissance. All the paintings depict a similar scene: a stable, Mary, Joseph, an ox, an ass, adoring angels and, of course, the Christ Child. But for me, Geertgen's painting stood apart from other Nativities our class studied. Most of the artists depicting the Nativity at the time chose to set the scene during the daytime. The sun was out and everything was uniformly lit. In many scenes you could see unrelated figures in the background. But Geertgen's piece struck me as the Holy Family was shown in the stable at night amidst the darkness.

Not only does this comparison between a daytime setting and a nighttime setting illustrate the literal contrast between light and dark, but it also explains the metaphorical contrast as well: the world before Christ came, and the world now that He has come.

In Geertgen's painting, The Christ child is the only source of light. The artist shows us the contrast of light entering a world of darkness demonstrating a moving metaphor. There is no sunlight; there are no lanterns, only the emanating light from the Savior. Each figure paying devotion to the Savior is illuminated by His radiance. It is because of His light that the viewer can even see Mary, Joseph, and even the angels in the scene. The simplicity of the painting parallels the simplicity of the message. If you take the Savior out of the picture, the painting is virtually extinguished.

I see this as being similar to what happens if we are to take Christ out of our lives. The choice is obvious. A life without the Savior and his love is a life of darkness and confusion. Meaning and purpose would be lost.

The first verse of “Our Savior’s Love” reads: "Our Savior's love shines like the sun with perfect light." The simile comparing the Savior to light is not a new one. But this lyric goes a specific step further comparing the love of the Savior to perfect light. What is perfect light? When I think of perfect light I think of it being pure, clear and unobstructed. All three of these words can be used to describe the love our Savior has for us: His love is the purest love we can find, it is clear, and it is unobstructed - or for the sake of a better word, unconditional. He offers it unconditionally and it will always be waiting for us. We don't even have to ask for it.

The second line of the hymn reads, "As from above, it breaks thru clouds of strife." The love of our Savior can penetrate any conflict, rebellion or dissension. President Monson once advised us to: "Look to the lighthouse of the Lord. There is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what its beacon light can rescue."

Many say blessings follow tribulation. We are saved shortly after we're at our lowest, our darkest of hours. Maybe that is because seeing how awful things can be prepares us to accept and appreciate how wonderful and miraculous things can be.

You may have read The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas. At the end of the book, the Count addresses Maximelien in a letter and says something that has stayed with me ever since I read it in high school:

"Here is my secret of conduct toward you: there is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss."

That is a noble perspective to have when trials begin to overwhelm us. When things get difficult, when bad things happen to good people, it is not because the Savior has neglected us or has ceased loving us. It doesn’t have to mean punishment for something we have done. The law of cause and effect doesn't work with love in the truest and purest sense of the word. Our Savior's love is one of the few things we don't have to earn.

Crawford Gates wrote the music to this hymn. He said that for him, the melody does not seem to tire easily. I believe the same can be said for the love our Lord has for us. It has always been there and it will always be there. His love and blessings are granted to everyone. It's what we do with that love that makes the difference.

Things that make me go "WOW!"

That was the theme for the Reflections Contest this year.

If you aren't familiar with the Reflections Contest, it's an arts recognition and achievement program put on by the PTA that most schools encourage their students to enter. I remember I entered it a couple times.

The first year I entered I was in 2nd or 3rd grade and the theme was "What Sparks My Imagination." I didn't win anything. I remember seeing my picture displayed way up high on the wall in the kiva at Sunrise Elementary. If you're familiar with art history and "salon style" hanging, that means my picture was really bad. The good stuff is at eye level -- and typically hangs on one line rather than several rows above and below it. It was a poster board sized picture of a rainbow with a pot of gold and a leprechaun.

The very next year, I believe my sister Lisa was in Kindergarten and she entered the Reflections contest. I don't remember what the theme was, but she entered a picture of a rainbow with a pot of gold and a leprechaun. She won a prize.

When Lisa was in 5th grade she decided to enter the music category. She doesn't really read music, but she was always good at sitting down and plunking out little tunes and melodies. The theme that year was something like, "If you could choose your favorite time..." and then you were supposed to create something that answered the question. Lisa's answer to that question was a little song that she could probably still play for you called "It would be Spring." I think it's hilarious that the title of her piece is a literal answer to the question, but not knowing what the question was made the title all the more poetic and abstract. Anyway, she won a prize.

I won't tell the story of when she was in high school and her photography teacher offered extra credit to his students to enter the contest. I'll let her tell it in the comment box if she wants, but long story short, she won a prize. She also broke into the school library and took it down off the wall when the winners were on display. We'll just leave it at that.

My brother Carter was a very good artist and I think he won the Reflections Contest more than once. I wish I had pictures of those. One was crazy with flying cars and cats climbing on buildings.

Anyway, this year I was asked to jury the visual arts category for an elementary school in Kaysville. They split it up into three different grade levels: K-2, 3-5 and then 6th grade. I looked at a lot of things that make kids go "Wow!"

It was interesting how much more boring things got at the higher age levels. You could tell after the 2nd grade kids start to learn how things are supposed to look and be drawn and so all the imagination and whimsy starts to dwindle. There were a couple pictures of rainbows and leprechauns, which made me realize my idea in grade school wasn't all that original.

Here are descriptions of my favorites:

A Kindergartner had a big piece of paper that was all blotchy with black, blue and green colors. It was very minimal. Every now and then I would check the back of the piece to see what they called it. So I looked. "Space."

This one second grader painted a picture of dogs in a field. On the back there was an explanation, "I like my dogs and I think this painting is fantastic because my flowers look so real up against the mountains" -- this kid is basically saying, "I am awesome."

One of my favorites was a picture of three aliens. Each had six arms and was pointing up at the sky: One said, "It's a bird!" Another, "It's a plane!" and the last, "It's my cousin."

Speaking of aliens, check out this picture my 5 year-old niece entered into the Reflections this year:

One girl got a green piece of paper and then drew the word "Wow." She didn't get high marks. Neither did most of the 6th graders. In fact, we didn't even recommend any of the 6th graders' sculpture for advancement. One was a mediocre looking popsicle stick house. Very boring, and how does that make you go "Wow"?

Then there were a couple pieces that were really lame. Remember how you would get the tissue paper squares, wrap them on the head of your pencil and glue a bunch of them on a piece of paper to create a picture of something?

Well one was a jack-o-lantern. On the back the sixth grader (sixth grader!) said, "I chose a jack-o-lantern because I think they're cool." No you didn't. You chose a jack-o-lantern because it was a class assignment and then your teacher said you'd get extra credit if you entered the contest so you used what you already had, irrespective of the year's Reflections theme.

If I were a parent, I'd encourage my kids to enter the dance category or film, or music. MUCH less competitive. And the criteria for interpreting the theme is probably more lenient. In fact, the music judges were working the same time I was. I still have that "variations on twinkle twinkle little star" in a minor key in my head...

Dear Ilene

I’ve been meaning to write you a thank you note for a couple days now, and then I got your comment on my blog yesterday and so now this has evolved into a thank you / apology.

I am sorry I didn’t call you when I got home to let you know I arrived OK. To be honest, when you said that to me as I was leaving, I thought you were kidding (given the first paragraph in my most recent Grandma Durham post). I did think to call you when I got home but it was kind of late and I figured I’d talk to you soon enough. Oh, and I never got your text asking if I was dead. Did you get my text last night telling you I was, in fact, alive?

By the way, did you see me turn the wrong direction as I pulled out of your driveway? I hope so because I thought it was hilarious seeing how you asked me if I knew how to get back to the freeway and I said yes. Maybe that’s why you were worried about me getting home OK.

And I was thinking as I drove off that I should have offered to hang out longer and watch your kids while you picked up Dan and Jackson at church so you didn’t have to load them in the car again. And then I could have said goodbye to everyone. I’m a bad friend sometimes. It was fun going to church with you again, just like we did in college. With you sitting next to your husband this time and me entertaining Tommy, I did feel somewhat of a sister wife, but somehow it was still like old times.

On to the thank you: I had the best time with you this weekend! Thanks for being such a hospitable hostess (making me meals, buying me lunch). You’re so grown up to have a “guest” room where I can stay. And it was amazing to arrive only to see you making chicken noodle soup from scratch.

Your boys are adorable and Jackson was such a good boy to set the table. I miss playing hot and cold with him and I miss holding out my thumbs to Tommy’s fists so he could attempt to climb up on me all the while calling me “mama”. I’m also going to miss overhearing you answer Dan’s questions only to have you realize he was talking to the voice in his blue tooth – not you.

I miss holding baby Laura. She is so sweet and I love that she has dark hair. She is going to be a knockout in the red dresses we picked out for her! She looks good in red, brown, and yellow. I can’t wait for pictures. There isn’t anyone I would rather share my name with.

Visiting you this weekend has inspired me to do the following:

Buy a Le Creuset pot
Slice bell peppers in my Cuisinart (I found my slicer/grater blade)
Take pictures of the pretty food I make
Sew valences for my windows
Buy pillows from Cynthia (did that yesterday)
Seek out my celebrity double so I can shadow her fashion choices
…and burn half the pictures of me in college (I think you were right, how we escaped college unmarried is clear)

And you can tell Dan I’ll think about cable some more. I loved how he had to pause the DVR so we could talk about it.

You are a wonderful friend. You have a god-given ability to love and accept me for who I am and at the same time inspire me to be a better person. You remind me of all the good things I want in life. It’s no wonder I’m willing to drive half a day to spend two days with you. Some day when I have a family I’m going to make sure we have enough rooms so you can all stay with us.

xoxo,

Laura

P.S. You can also expect a card in the mail.

Extra Work

When you’ve had the same job for as long as I have (seven years) it’s likely the novelty of being a grown up has worn off. What used to be exciting and just as enjoyable as your “non working” hours becomes nothing more than work. And that’s when you start to wonder whether it’s time for a new job or maybe you’ve just been doing this so long you take it for granted. I ask myself these questions all the time.

When I’m feeling down on my job I’ve learned the best thing to do is not necessarily look for another job, but rather add extra “little jobs” that make me feel like I’m doing something different. I’ve been through this exercise a few times in the past four years; the most recent being my work as a culinary assistant at Sur la Table. I love to cook and I love discounts on kitchen stuff so it perked up my regular work funk like a charm. Extra jobs can be fun.

But my first moonlighting gig was working as an extra for Knightstar Media. It began about 4 years ago. This guy in my ward was in Napoleon Dynamite and probably got a bunch of commission for getting several of us to pay $30 and sign up as an on-call extra. It was exciting because I love movies and television and being around film crews energizes me.

I think I only worked a total of four jobs for them. It’s hard when they need you to dedicate a full day to be on call and you already have a full time job. I only did the Saturday jobs or the ones when the call time started after 3 PM. That was the only way extra work could outpay my regular work. But I had to turn down a lot of requests. They kept calling me because I was a good extra. What makes a good extra? It’s simple: if you’re reliable they think you’re a godsend. Apparently a lot of people out there don’t keep their word, they’re chronically late and they don’t do what they’re asked. Crazy.

My first job was for a drive-in movie scene in the WB’s Everwood. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Everwood, it was a WB show filmed in Utah. They needed teenagers or people who could get away with looking like a teenager. My friend Jon and I went together. I got paid an extra $10 for allowing them to use my car. Just like people, they’re picky about their cars; it had to be a midsize and it couldn’t be white, black or red. It was kind of cold that night, but we all stood out in the cold for about 3 or 4 hours while they shot the scene. That was an easy $75.

I also did a scene at an office. I had to drive up to Ogden for this one. It was in an old building – that’s all I remember. It was only a two hour commitment so that was another easy $75.

The most fun to shoot was a scene where I was actually on camera. I was a nurse at a hospital and I was instructed to walk past the actors with my clipboard. I did it a few times, each time I did it a little different. On the third take the assistant director yelled, “Laura, you’re a genius!” I’m not sure what I did different that time, but I felt like I really earned my $75 that day.

At some point, I stopped opening the email requests from Knightstar and began turning down every request from my agent. Being an extra became less and less appealing. With the exception of the guy who said I was a genius, they treat you like crap. It’s pretty humbling actually. It doesn’t matter how important you are or how much respect you’re entitled to at your day job. On an extra set you are not a hardworking, intelligent college grad who actually has better places to be. It doesn’t matter what your name is, how hungry you are or how cold it is outside. While the actors sit in their heated trailers you’re standing outside in 40 degree weather wearing a linen skirt and short sleeves because in TV land it’s supposed to be July.

Would I do it again? Probably not – because when you’re actually treated with respect and consideration by people in other aspects of your life, it’s hard to go back and allow someone to squash you without even caring to glance back (literally, in some cases).

Or maybe it’s because the show was canceled.

Sushi and Chicken Pot Pie To Go

I woke up this morning to my phone ringing. I kind of guessed who it was before I checked the ID. 

 “Hi Grandma.” 

“Laura...?” 

“Yes.”

“I have been worried sick about you!” 

“I know, I'm sorry I forgot to call you, but when I got home I immediately went out with friends and I got distracted...” 

 You know when you leave someone's house and they say something like, “Drive safely, and will you call me when you get home?” I've never been good at that. I always forget. 

I left Grandma's house around eight o'clock last night. The last time I spent an evening with Grandma was back in January. We talked on the phone last week and she said she wanted to buy me a top and take me to dinner. She said, “I don't do Christmas or birthday gifts for my grandchildren so I like to treat you when I can. Do you know how many grandchildren I have? Do you know how many great grandchildren I have?” And then she goes off on stories about her great grandchildren. “Do you know Matt and Mary Margaret?” She actually asked me that twice during our 20 minute conversation. “Oh right, Matt's your uncle isn't he?” Actually, he's my cousin, but some things you let go. 

When I got to Grandma's she asked if I wanted to drive my car or if I wanted to drive her car. 

“Let's drive your car. It's a lot nicer than mine,” I said as I opened the door for her. 

“Why?” 

“Because this is a Lexus and mine is a Chevy Prizm.” 

 As I pulled out of the driveway she started to give me a tour of the neighborhood. She noticed the man raking leaves across the street. “Oh, be careful. Stay away from that man. He does not like me at all.” “Why doesn't he like you?” “Because I brag about my children. He tells me everyone thinks their children are the best. He is NOT a nice man. And this is where my dentist lives. He is a nice man. What do you think of his house?” “It's nice.” “It's a monster.” 

We got to the boutique she wanted to take me to. It's called Frolics. The lady there knows her well. Grandma said she wanted to give me $100 and see what I could do with it. Half the stuff in there was over $100 but I managed to find a very cute shirt. 

“Well that's only $65...” she said. 

“I know. Good deal huh?” 

“Don't you want something else? I have $100.” 

I didn't know I was on the Price is Right. I looked around for something else while Grandma chatted with the owner. I ended up with a necklace. Grandma handed over her VISA debit card but it was declined. The owner politely asked for another card. 

“No. I don't believe in owning more than one card.” Grandma preached. 

“Well,” the nice lady patiently continued, “Let me try it again.” Again, it was declined. 

“I'm sorry, it's not going through” she repeated. I'm glad no one else was in the store when Grandma said, 

“That's impossible. I have thirty thousand dollars in my checking account.” 

I hid my face in embarrassment while Grandma explained how she manages her finances, which is totally ridiculous if you ask me and just about anyone else in our family. Grandma ended up handing over two fifties and then looked over to me and said, “Looks like you're gonna have to get dinner.” Grandma wanted to try this place called Organics in Sugarhouse that doesn't really exist. She said it was on 2100 South and 800 East. When we approached 8th East she looked over at the Original Pancake House and said, “Is that it?” 

What we did find was a place called Au Naturale which I think is what she was thinking of. We decided to go through the drive thru and take it home. Strange place. Any place where chicken pot pie and sushi are on the same menu has got to be weird, right? Anyway, that's what we took home with us. Grandma had her heart set on pot pie and the tuna roll looked good to me. 

When we got back we set the table and she asked me if I wanted a fork. 

“No, I'll just use these chopsticks they gave me.” 

“Show me how you use them.” 

I picked them up and grabbed a piece of sushi and put it in my mouth. “Well, aren't you talented” she said.  

Dinner conversation consisted of her asking how everyone in my family is doing. Then she started talking more about my dad. 

“Your father said he and your mother eat out too much.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes. But your mother loves to cook doesn't she?” 

“I guess so.” 

“Does she pack him a lunch to take to work?” 

I don't think my mom has EVER packed my dad a lunch for work. The very idea made me laugh out loud. If she's reading this and I'm wrong, she can correct me. 

“Then where does your father eat lunch?” 

“I don't know Grandma.” 

“Well aren't you curious?” 

And that's when I realized a fundamental difference between her and me. She is curious about EVERYTHING which is why she asks me about EVERYTHING that is going on in my life and the lives of everyone around me. I don't think about where my dad goes to eat lunch. Maybe if he told me about going somewhere for lunch and then snuck off somewhere else, THEN I'd be curious about it. But I really never cared. Sorry Dad. 

After dinner I set her clocks back for her. I showed her that the microwave has a digital clock and isn't supposed to say 0:00 all the time. We watched an episode of Seinfeld, some MSNBC and then I was on my way. I don't visit her often enough. I better write a thank you.