Sunday, July 20, 2008

Journal Gem #6

Wednesday, January 22 2002
10:42 PM

Note to me: Before asking Dad to edit my writing, be prepared for what I'm getting myself into. I had this light, informal and conversational style going on and Dad shrunk it down, stripped it of my voice and all its personality until it read like a textbook.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and will even incorporate some of his suggestions, but I choose to retain some of the wordiness he was so quick to dismiss. He gave me a little lesson on the verb "to be" and then we sat down and rewrote a paragraph replacing the word "is" with other verbs or simply omitting it altogether.

It was when he started talking about how Anglo-Saxons spoke and the invasion of William the Conqueror that I decided to just play along for the time being and then do what I wanted to later.

I cannot deny it was an educational experience.


Annie said...

Yeah, I've had that "shrunken down stripped of my voice and all personality until it reads like a text book" every time my boss asks me to write something for the company newsletter. He'll tell me what he wants and I'll write it and turn it in to him and he'll strike out everything and I'll think why didn't you just write it in the first place? The second time I learned my lesson and just wrote down word for word what he wanted when he called to ask me to do it and he thought it was perfect. Again, why doesn't he just write it if I'm not supposed to add anything?

Cameron's Corner said...

When I worked for Layton City PD I had a trainer who would always correct my reports to the IMPROPER spelling and grammar because that's the way he'd always done it and he thought it was right.

I didn't have the scrote to tell him he was wrong because then he'd grade me poorly on how "receptive to feedback" I was. It was so extremely hard to swallow my pride and turn in a report that I KNEW was rubbish.

Ilene said...

I have always been wordy.

Or as your dad would like me to say: I am wordy.

I blame the Latin training. All Latin-based languages love to use "to be" verbs in as many places as possible.

SRA said...

hahahaha...that bit about the Anglo-Saxons and William the Conqueror is hilarious. Sounds like something the bishop would get into.