Rules I Live By

I think everyone has little rules they tend to live by. I follow some of them more religiously than others. Some of them would probably be better classified as superstitions – and I have some of those too. Here are some of my rules:

1. I wear sunscreen on my face every day.

2. I visit the dentist every six months.

3. When asked to do a musical number in Sacrament Meeting, I always say yes (unless I’m unavailable).

4. I sing in the ward choir. I never sang in the choir until I was called to be ward choir director a couple years ago. I enjoyed it, but I think it is the hardest calling in the ward.

5. I will not watch American Idol until they’ve narrowed it down to at least 12 contestants.

6. I never order soda when I go out to eat. Although I have been known to sometimes break this rule if someone else is paying for my meal.

7. When I go out to eat and I’m eating at a place that feeds me too much food, I try to order something that keeps well and then only eat half of it so I can eat the other half the next day.

8. If someone doesn’t answer a text or email invite (even with a “no, I’m sorry I can’t come) twice in a row, I usually take them off the next text guest list. No offense, I just figure they’re not interested. Unfair? Maybe. That’s just how I roll.

9. Given the above rule, as a courtesy, I try to make it a rule for myself to answer all texts and emails even if I’m unable to accept the invitation.

10. I don’t paint my fingernails anything other than a nude shade – unless I’m planning on removing it the next day. Because it will start to chip. And once it starts to chip I start to look and feel like trash.

11. If the outside temperature is below 40 degrees, I will not walk to work. If it’s above 95 I probably won’t walk to work either. Well, maybe I’ll walk TO work, but I’ll find a ride home.

12. Ever since I started working for the Utah Arts Council I’ve purchased one piece of original artwork a year. Sometimes I’ll buy more.

13. Before I get up on Sunday mornings I stay in my bed and listen to “Music for a Sunday Morning” on Classical 89 for at least 10 minutes.

14. I update my blog at least once a week.

15. I say “yes” to blind dates.

16. I don’t let my work phone ring more than three times before answering it.

17. If I'm on vacation with dad and he asks if I'm bringing my purse, I always say "no."

18. I always return Grandma Durham’s phone messages. Even if I don’t want to. And even if it's not for a couple days.

19. It’s ok to lie to Grandma Durham if it will save me 5 more minutes of unnecessary conversation. Example:

Grandma: Are you still going to the singles ward?
Me: Yes.
Grandma: Leslie goes to the singles ward too.
Me: Yeah, I think she does go to a singles ward.
Grandma: Do you see her there?
Me: No.

I won’t go into the details of the rest of the conversation, but let’s just say I should have said "yes” and let Grandma believe the Salt Lake Valley has just one big singles ward.


There are other rules I’ve tried to make for myself that just haven’t worked:

1. Don’t check email on vacations.
2. If I can’t walk to work, find other time to exercise that day.
3. AM prayers.
4. Don’t sit at the computer longer than one hour.
5. Don’t blog at work.

And that’s probably a good one to end on.

Bee Season

How would you like it if you came out of your office and found this on your car? Personally, it would freak me out.

This is the lot behind my building. We have been invaded by bees for the past couple weeks. Every day Ed, the security guard, has to call the bee keepers to come collect the honeybees and every day, Ed comes in to my office with his digital camera to show me where the new hive is. Rio Grande Street is not the lushest of areas. So they're swarming to corners of our building, little trees in the back, and vehicles, apparently.

Thanks for participating

Here we are. Our poem on blog-stalking. You'll notice I took some poetic license with some of these, modified Rhett's line to be the title and cut Cameron's line into two separate lines and cut Jane's in half. And then the first line was given to me involuntarily by Pete. It's the first thing he said to me this morning on Google Talk.

What She Said
by Rhett, Pete, Ilene, Jane, Guy, Hilda, Steph and Cameron

Your poem post made me sad
But my mind is too warped to comment
I would be here when you wanted me
I wish I had something better

But my mind is too warped to comment
Come out from behind those bushes!
I wish I had something better
I am only wearing my watch

Come out from behind those bushes!
Ah, but who is reading you?
I am only wearing my watch
You should be flattered -- not offended

Ah, but who is reading you?
I would be here when you wanted me
You should be flattered -- not offended
Your poem post made me sad

A Little Pantoum Project

I'm becoming increasingly interested in poetry the past year or two. A couple weeks ago I was introduced to the pantoum. It is written in quatrains (four-line stanzas) and each line is repeated once at some point. It makes for a very interesting poem because although the lines are repeated, they sometimes bring on a new meaning depending on the context in which they reappear.

I was in a class where the instructor had us create a group poem. He gave us a topic and then we each wrote several lines on that topic and then shouted out the lines to him and he took them together and created our own pantoum -- somewhat of a more sophisticated madlib, I suppose.

I thought it would be fun to do that via my blog, so please participate if you would. I need 8 different lines for the poem if this is going to work, so I’ll take the first 8 comments I get. Here’s hoping I get 8 comments…I have faith in you.

Once I get all the lines I need, I’ll put the poem together and post it. Now for the topic…let’s choose something we all know about: BLOG STALKING.

Examples of possible lines:

I read you but you don’t read me.
And still I say nothing
I can see right through you, but you don’t know why.
But will you know?

And…go.

Journal Gem #3

Sunday, March 31, (Easter) 2002
11:01 AM

I've had a stomach thing going on. It started yesterday morning. It worried me seeing how my dad had to go to the ER the other day for his stomach thing. So I asked Dad if his thing started out really small and then escalated slowly (that's what mine was doing). Let me try to remember his response to the best of my recollection: "I don't know about you," he said, "but mine started out very small and then blossomed within 20 minutes to an inexplicable throbbing pain where I was cursing God and hoping to die." Something like that.

I wasn't in that much pain. In fact, I was feeling OK. I didn't feel like eating though. I ate a tangerine, and then decided to go hike Lower Bells. So I started driving up there. I'm halfway up and decide maybe Buddha would want to come. So I go back and get Buddha. I'm more than halfway up when I start to smell something and realize Buddha has his infamous "butt problem" and has smeared it all over my shirt (he was moving around on my lap), my pants and my car's upholstery. So I have to turn around AGAIN and get Buddha the heck out of my car and change my clothes. I lost all motivation to go back so I read instead.

(Buddha is the dog by the way)

Super May Give Away!

I have now lived in my house longer than any of its current residents. I've remained after Kaila's move and after Maria's. Now that they have left with (most of) their belongings, I am becoming more aware of what belongs to me. My most recent roommate, Annie, came with many things that have turned out to be a duplication of my things. Some of her stuff is nicer than the stuff that is either mine, or stuff that was abandoned by previous roommates.

With that said, I am offering up the following items for the taking. I could save them for a yard sale, but I'm not feeling like going to all the work of organizing one. If any neighborhood friends want to combine forces and have a big sale, let me know. I did that a couple summers ago and I think I made like seven dollars. I got that same feeling I used to get when I sold my college textbooks back to the bookstore. I spent like $220 on books and I sold them back in exchange for $7. Somehow that seven bucks felt like a victory. I would think, "Yeah! Now I can go out to dinner!" I was super poor in college.

Our first item is a candle warmer. Kaila's maybe? Kaila if you want this back come and get it -- otherwise I'm opening it up to the masses. I believe the scent is "plum spice"...mmm...all the fragrance of a candle without the fire hazard.

The second item is an orange strainer. I have invited poseable man to model this for us. I'm thinking my mom gave this to me a couple years ago. But since then she's given me one of those pop out strainers that takes up less space and I find myself ignoring this one.

Next we have a smallish metal mixing bowl. Nuff said.

We also have this set of three plastic bowls left behind by Maria, I believe. They're good mixing bowls. But Annie has like 17 in all colors and sizes. I'm willing to separate the set if you only want one or two but I would advise against it.

Maria also left these porcelain plates. I really don't know if they're porcelain but they're heavy and they're breakable. If you live by yourself, you've got a full set right here.





For some reason when my sister was moving I told her I would take this George Foreman grill. I've used it a couple times and it was all right. I'm into the stovetop lately so I'm not interested in this anymore. But it's a good little appliance. This can be yours not for $59.95 not for $49.95. I'm not even going to make you pay $39.95 or $29.95. In fact, if you come take this from me today, I will throw in these two water bottles.

Granted, they have the recently infamous recycle number of 7 on the bottom which means they have some harmful chemical in the plastic or something. If you haven't been paying attention to the news lately, you can ignore that last warning. They're great water bottles -- just don't drink out of them.



Allow me to introduce our next model. This is Indiana Jones's latest romance apparently. I haven't seen the movie or read much about it so I'm not sure what her name is. But if she were a Lego (and she is) this is what she would look like. This is an aerial shot of a plastic potato peeler. Carri bought an awesome comfort grip one and I found this one to be utterly unacceptable since. So it's getting the boot.

This is a tiny whisk. I think I used this once to beat an egg. It worked pretty well but I felt ridiculous doing it.





Oh no! Indiana Jones's damsel is trapped inside this glass! Come save her! And take the glass while you're at it.



To the right, is a silverware tray. It's oversized for all the trendy oversized silverware out there. According to product designers, we Americans like our utensils to hold as much food as possible.

Oh, and we have all this flatware for you to take. Annie has a lot of nice utensils so Carri, rather hastily, threw these in the giveaway box. Free flatware? Not a bad deal. They'll go nicely with the white tray. I guess I could have placed them in the tray so you could have a visual of how nicely they fit in there, but please...like I have that kind of time.

Finally we have this strawberry huller. It used to have a wooden strawberry at the top to help you figure out what it is, but it broke off. It's supposed to take the stems out of strawberries. It really doesn't work very well.

Happy shopping!

Thank You Notes

Thank you FedEx Kinkos for being so on the ball.

Thank you Stef for sending photographs for the program.

Thank you magical program folding fairy for making my Sunday morning easier.

Thank you Alex, Anonymous and "Dude" for the nice notes.

Thank you Rhett for helping me restart my car.

Thank you Fletcher for the baking soda tip.

Thank you girl at Jiffy Lube for recommending the bosch windshield wipers -- I love them. And thank you for giving me 50% off.

Thank you outside car door handle for working since inside handle won't.

Thank you Harmon's for the best grocery shopping experience I've had in a long time. Thank you especially for carrying broccolini.

Thank you David Whyte for being one of the few inspiring people I've heard from lately.

Thank you to my handful of friends who are willing to have real conversations about important things. For yours are the words that move me to face my vulnerabilities and acknowledge my strengths.

Thank you Mom for coming to the conference and buying a table.

Thank you Christian for calling about mowing the lawn so I don't have to worry about bothering you with it.

Thank you Mother Nature for the first warm day in a long time.

Journal Gem #2

Saturday, October 5 2002
8:26 PM

I don't know why, but I' m not really hungry today. I had some cereal, a piece of pumpkin bread and some pasta that Mom made. It was just leftover from her little cabin sabbatical I guess. I looked at the bowl of pasta and noticed that some of the noodles were green. When I asked Mom what that was about she said an M&M fell in there.

That would also explain the blue noodles.

Here Mousy Mousy...

Mmmm...you want some peanut butter? Looks good doesn't it? You better come get it before this little guy beats you to it. You clever little miscreant, you.