Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Melt Down

What does it mean if you have a dream that someone pointed their finger at you or gestured with their arm or something and caused you to fall down a hole -- the sensation was that of falling down a hole, but really you were kind of melting like the Wicked Witch of the West and just couldn't get up?

That was my dream last night. I was at a buffet table. It was something casual, something outside. There was a guy with me who could tell this other blonde guy was making me uncomfortable. The blonde guy kept inching closer towards me weaving around me as I tried to mind my own business and make my way down the buffet table. He didn't say anything, he just creeped me out. And the more uncomfortable I got, the closer he got. The guy I was with tried to stay close to me (didn't try hard enough if you ask me) but the creepy guy finally looked at me, waved his arm and cast me to the ground. It was a horrifying feeling.

I was trying to figure out what caused this dream. I did have a distressing thing happen to me before I went to bed and that was the realization that I am going to be poor. I should have seen this coming when I accepted a government job years ago, but I don't want to be poor. I have been reveling in relatively low rent for some time and enjoying having money at my disposal. I've been lucky. But recently I decided it was time for me to buy a house. I was feeling good about it for awhile. My friend who just bought a house told me about all her ups and downs during the process and how she went through a grieving period. You grieve the cushy savings you're about to hand over as a down payment. You grieve the disposable income you're going to soon be spending on a mortgage...

So I hit that point last night when I opened up my mint.com account and began itemizing the mindless expenses I didn't itemize before: yoga classes, haircuts, I forgot all about auto insurance... I started to freak out and was afraid maybe I couldn't afford a house after all. I saw all my money going down a hole and never coming back. It was scary. It was wicked witch of the west scary.

Look how cute these melting witch drinks are though:

5 comments:

SRA said...

Very cute. Hopefully, you'll be able to afford the ingredients & other necessaries to make yourself some for your housewarming party. :)

Ilene said...

That drink looks suspect. Like the last dregs of green jello and 7-up.

Your 'date' in the dream was a clear loser. He deserved to fall down the hole.

Good luck with the house hunting. It is a terrifying process. But good in the end and how exciting it will be to devote some of the tiny income left after bills towards something other than the satellite tv sports package. And don't let your realtor talk you into looking at houses out of your price range. It is a cruel trick realtors have played on me.

Lisa Marie Trent said...

I've bought many many houses. That's not to say that I'm "better off" because that's obviously not true. But all the people that are making you feel like its the END OF YOUR LIFE are either unhappy with their choices or haven't grown up and accepted responsibility. Go talk to Jen, who probably had a picture in her head as well- but things are much different. Yet, she is thrilled, has her own space to do with what she wants. And- she's only paying 80 dollars more than she was in rent, only this may turn to equity. Yes, you may have to give up some massages and fine dining, but you'll soon realize what really matters, and you may end up with some great memories in your home. Don't let your fears overwhelm you.

Laura Lee said...

Uh...Lisa?

Lisa Marie Trent said...

yes...