After thinking about it for a few seconds I've concluded mosquitoes offer no good or benefit to society.
Nothing can call up my paranoia and disdain quite like the blood-sucking mosquito. My problem is mosquitoes absolutely LOVE me. I am a magnet. I must emanate a pheromone that seduces the insects, invites them to suck the lifeblood from my body and encourages them to invite all their friends. I will be slapping my arms and brushing my legs and people will look at me like I'm insane.
I was at a pool party a few weeks ago and I confessed my unequivocal fear for mosquitoes. Someone asked, “Why, because of West Nile?”
“No, I just hate getting bitten.”
I suppose it's ironic that the deadly diseases mosquitoes can carry don't burden me in the least. I think what it is, is the loss of control. I can't see them assault me. They're sly when they land on my skin. And I do, I feel assaulted. I take it a little too personally, and feel defeated when that first itch sensation reaches my brain and I know the inevitable has happened: they found me again.
The other night I wanted to sit on my porch because the weather was so nice. I looked up at the porch light and saw the miscreants swarming around. So I turned off the light and sat in the dark. At some point I learned mosquitoes are attracted to light, so I figured if I sat in the dark they would find a light to travel to. I sat for about 8 minutes and then walked inside to discover I was bitten three times.
The worst is when I wake up in the middle of the night. A polite whisper prompts my brain and my eyes peacefully open. And then I hear it -- the slight buzzing of a satiated mosquito.
There's a mysterious adrenaline that manifests itself in the middle of the night. As soon as I suspect a mosquito presence I am jolted from my slumber. I don't just wake up -- I wake up in full combat mode. I flick the light on and I am ready to hunt down the mosquito until it is good and dead. Sometimes it takes a couple nights to conquer it. But once I do, the victory is sweet and I can sleep in peace.
I was sleeping in the same bed as my friend Kristi in Aruba last month and every night I got bit. They didn't touch her. They must smell my fear. And the delicious ambrosia that is my blood.
If I could rid the world of them I would.