Family Council

One of the common practices of my church is FHE (Family Home Evening). Even as single adults, we gather together every week for this tradition, calling ourselves a family. In fact, last night we gathered for games, a spiritual thought and treats – three staples of a traditional FHE.

My family never held FHE for very long when I was growing up. Although I remember one specifically: we held it in Dad’s study. He played the guitar. Maybe I remember this because it was probably one of two or three times I’ve seen my dad play the guitar.

One thing we did hold regularly from March 1986 to December 1987 was Durham Family Council. It was usually on a Sunday, after church while dinner was in the oven. We sat in the family room, reviewed the past week and discussed the upcoming week. Mom and Dad would talk about our behavior, how we were doing with our assignments and household chores. It was a staff meeting of sorts. Everyone had a turn to speak. Sometimes (a lot of times) it turned into an airing of grievances. The best thing about Durham Family Council was my dad took minutes from each meeting leaving us a detailed record of what was discussed.

Several years ago I found the handwritten minutes and after crying from uncontrollable laughter decided to type them up for everyone. I shared some of these when I taught Sunday school once – I was talking about the order of families. This is how my family attempted to keep order. I think it worked on some level. If one of us started to complain Mom and Dad would say, “Save it for Family Council!” and we would.

Here are the minutes from a few of the meetings. Keep in mind, Lisa is about 5, I’m 8 and Carter is 10. Maybe this will sound a little bit like your family.


2nd Meeting
3-24-86
3:25 PM

*DADDY:
Suggested keeping minutes and reading some at next meeting.
Lisa in the morning –Carter and Laura should help her with breakfast.
Kids NOT to knock on our bedroom door in morning for inane reasons.

MOMMY:
Laura and Lisa’s stuff all over family room. Not so much Carter’s stuff.
Sunday mornings: Today was one of those hectic Sunday mornings. Need more help with Sunday clothes, hair and rooms.
Each child to report weekly on something learned, or some new discovery, etc.
Carter needs to practice piano more. Use downstairs piano.

LISA:
Confusion over morning actions and behavior.
Promised more control over mess spilling into rest of house.

CARTER:
Daddy moves me off couch and chairs when I was there first. Kids have rights too.
Laura’s rude to me. No specifics cited.

LAURA:
I want Carter to like me, but I often get a rude response out of him.

Meeting Adjourned: 3:42 PM



4th Meeting
4-13-86
4:34 PM

Minutes from previous meeting were read and passed.

CARTER:
Laura doesn’t know what she’s talking about with paper airplanes.
Learned about Bible, B of M, scriptures, Article of Faith

LAURA:
Liked swimming yesterday
Going to learn multiplication tables in May
Carter’s been gross – so gross I can’t even mention

LISA:
Carter’s gross with brownies
Wants to go swimming –likes water wings

(Daddy reminds Carter to stop laughing uncontrollably)

MOMMY:
Allowances reduced because of misbehavior
Carter hassled Mommy over leaving to go out. This needs to be stopped.
Telephone manners need work
Too many liberties with food.

DADDY:
Toilets need flushing even in middle of night
Reviewed week’s schedule
Will continue to think about Cabin trip.
Silverware, bowls, utensils belong in drawers and cupboards –not outside

Meeting adjourned at 5:02 PM


10th Meeting
6-15-86
3:50 PM

Minutes read and passed. (At 3:53 kitty knocked down knick-knack on piano)
Daddy noted that since Lisa was out of town last week, we didn’t hold Family Council.

DADDY:
Thanks for Father’s Day presents
3 more weeks of staying off the lawn

MOMMY:
Admonished kids to make better use of time
Carter doing well on piano – Laura too.
Saturday jobs OK – more thorough straightening
Tomorrow and every Monday, trip to library and cards discussed. Reading chart. Read after lunch. Laura reads to Lisa on Tuesdays, Carter reads to her on Wednesdays.
Laura to start dancing Tuesday and Thursday
Review reading weekly at Family Council

LAURA:
Glad we have grass
Looking forward to Cedar City

CARTER:
Ditto on Grass
Happy Father’s Day

LISA:
Asleep

Meeting Adjourned at 4:06 PM